Hit and walk
Some people have mentioned that I should write this story in my blog, which I’m now doing for the enjoyment of new readers.
A few weeks ago I was doing my grocery shopping. As I was packing my goods in the bags I noticed a weird character walking around the outside of the counters. What caught my eye was his strange posture, and the fact that it looked like he was taking photos with his mobile phone of the people in line… with a mobile phone without a camera, mind you.
I ignored him and walked back to my car and put the groceries in the trunk, and got ready to drive back home. When you pull out of the parking lot outside the store you have to drive past the main entrance. As always, I drove slowly and kept an eye out for people running out the entrance without paying notice to any cars. Thankfully people are usually very observant and don’t usually do such a stupid thing.
As I passed the entrance I noticed the same weird character coming almost stumbling out the main entrance. At this moment I had already passed the entrance, so I normally wouldn’t worry about him. That day, however, things took an unexpected turn. The weird character actually walked right into the side of my car. Not just a simple bump, mind you, but in an extremely overacting way. Picture Wile E. Coyote hitting the ground after a 3 minute free fall down a cliff. Now picture the same pose on the character trying desperately to stick to the side of my car.
Since my car isn’t coated with crazy glue, he, of course, didn’t stick, and instead decided to recoil back to the ground, arms and legs flailing. Lets recap: Crazy guy walks into my car while I’m in motion. He literally walks into the passenger side door and falls down, no fault of my own!
I continue to pull out of the parking lot very slowly and watch the weird character in my mirror, and can see him still lying on the ground, still with his arms and legs flailing.
At this point I figured out that this weird guy was beyond weird and in no real need of rescue, so I drove home without stopping to see how the guy was. Again, I felt no need to actually check on him because I knew that this was no fault of mine, he couldn’t possibly be hurt, and he was very obviously an attention whore looking for trouble.
I have yet to hear from the police on this matter, and I also have tons of eye witnesses who can attest to this not being my fault, so I’m filing this in the "amusing anecdotes" part in my mind, instead of the "scary experience, please don’t sue me" part.